Who Should Disciple You?

Keighan Miller • September 2, 2025

Scripture:


  • “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…” (Matthew 28:19–20)

  • “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1)

  • “…what you have heard from me… entrust to faithful people who will be able to teach others also.” (2 Timothy 2:2)


Jesus didn’t merely invite people to believe; He invited them to follow. Discipleship is the slow, ordinary, beautiful work of learning Jesus—His words, His ways, and His heart—through Scripture, the Spirit, and relationships. The early church grew not just through preaching, but through people who patterned their lives after Christ and then invited others to do the same.

When Paul says, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ,” he’s not claiming perfection. He’s pointing to direction. A discipler is a fellow traveler who is a step or two ahead on the same road, helping you keep your eyes on Jesus when the way feels foggy.

So, what should you look for in someone to disciple you?


1) Christlike Character Before Charisma

Gifts can impress, but fruit reassures (Galatians 5:22–23). Look for someone whose life shows love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Do they apologize when they’re wrong? Do they speak truth without harshness and show conviction without self-righteousness?


2) Biblical Conviction, Not Just Opinions

A discipler should open the Bible more than they offer hot takes. Do they submit their life to Scripture, let it correct them, and help you read it in context? Healthy disciplers help you love God’s Word and handle it accurately (2 Timothy 2:15).


3) A Teachable Spirit and Humble Posture

Iron sharpens iron both ways. Look for someone who listens, asks good questions, and is willing to say, “I don’t know—let’s study that.” Humility keeps the focus on Jesus, not the mentor’s platform or preferences (James 4:6).


4) Observable Faithfulness in Ordinary Places

Watch their everyday life: how they treat their family, handle money, respond to stress, serve the church, and love neighbors. Discipleship is often caught more than taught. If their private life matches their public talk, you’ll learn integrity by proximity.


5) Accountability with Grace

A good discipler can speak hard truths with soft tones. They’ll celebrate progress and also ask you about the areas you tend to hide. Grace without truth leaves you stuck; truth without grace leaves you crushed. Healthy mentors carry both like Jesus (John 1:14).


6) Missional Intent

Discipleship doesn’t end with you. Look for someone who expects multiplication—who invests in you so that you will invest in others (2 Timothy 2:2). They’ll help you identify where God has placed you to witness, serve, and send.


7) Prayerfulness and Dependence on the Spirit

Technique helps, but transformation is the Spirit’s work. Choose someone who prays with you and for you, who invites the Spirit into the room and relies on God’s power more than their own planning (Ephesians 6:18).


How to Begin

  1. Pray first. Ask God to highlight someone already near—perhaps a small-group leader, older church member, or faithful friend.

  2. Observe before you ask. Spend a few weeks watching their life and fruit.

  3. Make a simple ask. “Could we meet for 6–8 weeks to study ___ and pray? I want to grow in following Jesus.” Time-bound commitments honor both schedules.

  4. Show up hungry. Come with Scripture read, questions ready, and a willingness to apply.


   5. Expect to pass it on. From the start, plan to share what you’re learning with someone else. Discipleship grows when it flows.



A Short Prayer

“Lord Jesus, You are the true Teacher. Lead me to someone who reflects Your heart and helps me follow You. Make me faithful, humble, and ready to learn—and then to disciple others. Amen.”



Three Takeaway Questions

  1. Whose everyday life makes me want to love Jesus more—and what step will I take this week to invite their input?

  2. Where do I most need gentle accountability right now, and am I ready to receive it with humility?

  3. Who could I begin praying for now so that, as I’m discipled, I can also invest in them?


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By Steve Bradley • February 2, 2024
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